Today marks the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week for 2017. I’d always feel sad seeing posts from friends who had lost their babies taking part in the WAVE OF LIGHT on social media. How must they be feeling? This year, I know.
To be honest, I don’t really feel anything at this moment in time but my emotions are up and down each day.
Who said time heals? It gets easier with time? I’m not experiencing this at all. Is this how i’m supposed to feel? That’s just it, for each parent that has lost a child, our feelings are unique. I’m beginning to realise this more and more each day. The worst thing you can do in this situation is compare your grief.
So this month has been difficult. It’s only the 9th October and so far, two people think i’m pregnant because I still have my enlarged stomach. I was heavily pregnant at the start of this year. If you know me, by 3 months pregnant, I always look like 6 months pregnant. I have big babies and I ALWAYS show very early due to this.
Destiny is no longer with us, but if she was, would my enlarged stomach be a topic? I don’t think it would be because people would be thinking, ‘she’s just had a baby’
That’s just it! I did just HAVE A BABY! I’ve been pregnant 3 times and I carried our third baby for 5 months. I gave birth to her on January 2nd 2017. Just because she’s dead, it doesn’t mean that my body shouldn’t look like a woman that has birthed a child this year.
My body went through the worst pain! I wanted to feel it ALL because I knew that she was gone and we couldn’t bring her home.
I am a mother of 3. Do you agree? If a woman has 3 living children and one sadly dies, does she forget all knowledge of that child and just tell people that she only has two children? Would other people tell others that she is a mother of 3 but one sadly died or would they say that she is a mother of 2?
I guess it doesn’t matter who agrees because again, it’s down to the grieving individuals. Some parents don’t wish to see their babies once they have died. Are they wrong? People do what they have to in order to get through a difficult situation.
I brought this topic up in a counselling session last month. My counsellor did happen to agree with me. It doesn’t matter how many memories I was able to make with Destiny. She was here. She was conceived, she died peacefully in my womb, I brought her body into the world and I buried her body. Destiny Jayde Clarke EXISTED and she IS my third child.
I am a proud mother of 3 and this year, we have a REAL angel for our Christmas tree.